If you’re a pop culture junkie like I am, you’re probably familiar with US Weekly magazine’s cheesy feature, “Stars — They’re Just Like US!” The glossy pages of the popular gossip mag feature paparazzi-shot photos of celebrities doing mundane day-to-day activities — just like US! It’s supposed to make us peons feel better about ourselves because stars “get sweaty!” and “pump their own gas!” Those are real examples from the magazine. Not even kidding.
I’d rather hang out with a dog than a celebrity any old day. They’re way cooler than celebrities. In fact, I like to think they’re just like US!
1. They swap clothes!
When I was in high school and college, I always shared clothes with my friends. And there was never any sort of time table for when we wanted the articles returned to us. Imagine my delight to learn dogs also swap threads with buddies! I’m totally inspired and may just call my old friend and see if she still has that awesome Police Synchronicity concert T from 1983.
2. They shop!
Nothing’s worse than receiving poor customer service. If I’m going to spend my money in an establishment, I want top-notch products and service. It’s comforting to know dogs also expect high standards while shopping.
Just because we’re humans, we shouldn’t settle for cashiers talking on cell phones and clerks who don’t smile. We want to be treated with the same level of service and respect dogs expect to receive. They are just like us, after all.
3. They don’t judge food!
I openly admit to eating a pretzel or chip that’s freshly fallen on the floor. I don’t care what science says — I’m a staunch believer in the five-second rule, and I’ve never gotten sick from throwing back a floor-cracker. And now that I know dogs adhere to the same rule, I feel all the better for my occasional habit.
4. They dance like no one’s watching!
I love to dance and never feel more fancy-free than when I’m listening to an outdoor concert and become intoxicated by the music and fresh air. I can’t help but smile and dance!
I’m ecstatic to learn that dogs also like to jump outside with wild abandon. I feel so canine and I love it!
5. They share food!
I’m one of those people who asks for bites of dessert that don’t belong to me. I’m not talking about some stranger’s cheesecake, but if you’re my dining partner and have a tasty-looking piece of chocolate cake, I’m going to come right out and ask for a nibble or three. And if you are my husband or child, I’ll just take a bite without asking. Dogs are just like me, so now I don’t feel rude. Thanks, dogs!
6. They’re green!
My husband once told me his co-worker said, “I don’t believe in recycling!” What’s not to believe? It’s not like the tooth fairy. Recycling is real, dude, and dogs are here to tell us it’s cool to be kind to Mother Earth! I saw this photo of the Pug with the plastic milk jug and have never felt more green-tinged. That’s right — I recycle. Just like a dog.
7. They talk to strangers!
Mom always said not to talk to strangers, but dogs say it’s okay to make a new friend once in a while. You can even ask for stuff, and it’s cool! I’m out of mustard and, for the first time ever, I don’t feel panicky. I’ll just go ask a stranger!
8. They get thirsty!
I have to say I’m not a fan of water fountains. My whole family feels fine catching public refreshment, but I’ve just never been able to erase the image of the barrage of mystery lips that have touched the germy stainless steel. After learning that dogs couldn’t care less about kissing the bacteria fountain, I guess I’m okay with it, too!
Are your dogs just like you? Tell us about it in the comments!
Read more funny posts by Angie Bailey:
