Martha Stewart’s beloved French bulldog, Francesca, accidentally (or at least that’s the official story — see the last half of this post for a possible canine ulterior motive) whammed her hard head into Martha’s lip when Martha went to whisper good-bye as she was leaving the house. The 69-year-old domestic goddess needed several stitches to close the gash the incident left on her lip. (I’ve heard bulldogs can be hardheaded, but this gives the concept a whole new meaning.)
She documented the fender bender on her blog. “As I leaned down to whisper goodbye to a dozing Francesca, I must have startled her, because she bolted upright with such force that she hit me in the face like a boxing glove hitting an opponents face. I was entirely startled and my neck snapped back. I felt a bit of whiplash as blood gushed forth from my split lip. Frannie was as upset as I was and cowered in her bed.”
An employee was with her in the emergency room, and took 35 photos of the event, should you care to view pictures of Martha getting stitched up. There’s even a photo of the wall trim she stared at while flat on her back. In true Martha form, she proclaimed it needed to be updated (it does).
We hope Martha’s lip heals well, and that Francesca’s head isn’t aching too much from the collision. But you do have to wonder: Could Francesca have planned the “accident”? Was she sick of Martha traveling the world without her? Did she want her to stay home for more than 10 seconds? There may be more to this than meets the eye (or the lip). The evidence is right in The Daily Wag, the blog Francesca writes with Sharkey, the blond
male (oops, apologies to Sharkey the girl dog. She just looks more boyish and has a more boy-like name) version of herself.
Earlier this week Francesca wrote about how excited she and Sharkey were about Martha finally coming home from a big trip to Columbia and Florida. “Finally, shes coming home and told us that she is craving a homemade vegetable soup. We, Frenchies, thought it would be nice if that soup was ready and waiting for her, so we got busy.” Francesca proceeded to show, via photos, how she and Sharkey found all the veggies growing in Martha’s greenhouse-like area. They worked hard, and were proud of their efforts to please Martha.
Next thing you know, Martha is back home (woo hoo!). But according to Martha’s blog, she only had time to unpack, sort her stuff, and play with the dogs before taking off again within hours to beat a snowstorm so she be in NYC for an early appearance on the Today Show and then go off to her own show. So when the “accident” happened, Martha hadn’t even spent one night home after her long trip.
Now Martha will be spending many nights at home. Frenchies are known for their intelligence.
You do the math.
Tellingly, Friday’s blog by Francesca and Sharkey is all about some toys in their beautiful house. It doesn’t mention a thing about the incident. They’ve clearly spoken with their lawyer.
Or maybe Francesca was just getting Martha back for the costumed humiliations you see below. (Remember this if you dress up your dog for Dress Up Your Pet Day today…)