Dear GiGi,
I fell in love with another girl’s dog. I always knew in the end that his loyalty would be to her, but I really felt like we had something special — and maybe, secretly, I was hoping he’d choose me.
Long story short, she left town and he decided to follow. Life without him is just not the same. How will I ever move on?
The Other Woman
Dear TOW,
While many of us dogs are irresistible (some are easier to resist than others, based on stinky smells alone), we’re known for our loyalty. While I’m sure he loved you T H I S much (stretching my paws as wide as I can), could you imagine how much your friend would miss him if he stayed behind?
So here’s what you do: Get dolled up, work on your puppy pick-up lines, and cruise your closest SPCA. I can guarantee there’s a new guy hoping and praying he’s the one for you. Just don’t talk about your ex — that’s so tacky!
Dear GiGi,
One of my pals is looking for love. I know, I know — we all are, right? Except this gal is in her early 80s, although you’d never know it. She has firecracker-red hair and a sassy attitude and has more fun around town than I do — but the only single guys she meets seem to be looking for nursemaids or bimbos. How can I help her find the mature man of her dreams?
Not Bad for an Old Broad
Dear Original OB,
If I were to listen to conventional wisdom on aging, I’d be pushing about 30 years old. I can guarantee no 30-year-old is walking around trying to convince people a stuffed groundhog is the coolest thing since sliced bacon, or rolling around in fits of glee and running in circles just for the sheer kick of it — though they should be!
If your friend is serious about wanting love in her life, it’s pretty simple –turn off the thoughts that it will never happen and instead picture it already having happened and how happy she is with her 80-year-old hunk-a-lovin’. Sounds silly, but tell that to Plato. The right people always find each other at the right time.
Existentially yours,
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