I remember it well. I was in biology class.
“Now class,” said our teacher. “Today we’re going to talk about contraceptives.”
A few of us giggled cluelessly and a few of us smirked knowingly — I’ll let you guess which group I was in.
With a test tube, our teacher demonstrated the correct way to administer a condom. A pretty simple lesson, especially with the blessing of opposable thumbs.
Now the San Francisco SPCA wants you to figure out how to teach your dog to “wrap it” — without thumbs or complex language comprehension.
See, here’s the deal: After realizing that it can be difficult to get people to fix their pets, the SF SPCA has added this strategy, saying, “Okay, you know what? At least buy him some condoms to keep in his wallet for those days when he sneaks out the hole in the fence and has a tryst with some lady dog down the street.” I’ve been told that just like my freshmen days of college, they keep a bowl outside the door of the SF SPCA stocked with condoms so you can grab one anonymously, no questions asked.
Have you talked to your dog about protection? When he cocks his head at you, ears perked, wondering where the treat is for sitting still so darn long, look at him very seriously and say, “Have I ever told you about the birds and the bees?” Have him practice on a banana, but don’t let him eat the banana — not without protection, anyway.
If you need help with this very important discussion, check out petcondoms.org — I’m dead serious.
(You can’t see me right now but I’m winking and I might have my tongue in my cheek.)
Via Laughing Squid
Read other funny posts on Dogster:
- “Does the Dog Die?” Website Will Spare You From Movies Where Dogs, Well, Die
- 10 Dogs Reacting to Britney Spears’ “Work Bitch”
- A Dog’s 5 Stages of Grief When You Leave the House
About Liz Acosta: Dogster’s former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site’s daily “Awws,” only now she also wrangles Dogster’s social media. That’s why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and — her personal favorite — Instagram. See ya there!