The Fourth of July is upon us, and shooters for the popular stock-photo site have given us a bounty of pictures of dogs and puppies adorned with the reds and the whites and the blues. We’re going to make fun of them.
1. Dutiful Dog
God bless Pugs. They just put up with our insanity, you know? Also, I think a fake cigar is the correct next move here, and maybe some tennis shoes.
2. Born on the Fourth of July
The military-style dog-tags gives this a nice touch — a bit of swagger — which the sunglasses ruin. Sunglasses on dogs: Let’s cool it, OK?
3. Yankee Doodle Is About to Go to Town
Aww, how cute, a Bulldog is waving the — wait, is that an English Bulldog? With his limey teeth in Old Glory? LET’S BURN THIS PLACE DOWN!
4. Children of the Flag
A girl and her dog wandering through a desolate, eerie, more-than-a-little crazy field of flags? Is this the start of a horror movie? THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT.
5. Not on My Watch!
Now it’s two English Bulldogs? Somebody radio a battalion of American Pit Bull Terriers A-SAP!
6. Patriotic Tinsel: $1
Hey, who let grandma go to the dollar store again?
7. So Very Old Glory
This looks like my dad so much it’s scary. Beagles — who knew?
8. Huh. Interesting.
I know this isn’t a picture of a dog, but what the heck, Shutterstock? What’s going on over there at HQ? Did you have a lost weekend? How does something this weird get made? (And can you make more, please?)
9. Uncle Sam?
Great, everybody’s fat uncle decided to get dressed up for the picnic.
10. Good Dog
God, that looks good. What were we talking about again?