Hi Dogsters! Jake here! Maria is finally let me have a go at the keyboard for a while so I can write a review of my Crypton Dog Bed. I got one through Maria’s dog-writing colleague Julia Szabo, who wrote a great guest post about fashionable doggy digs for the blog back in March. Maria had told her about my sneaking onto the love seat instead of sleeping on “my chair” (which is very comfy, but not like the love seat). She also told her about my flattened little green dog bed with the pheasants, which I am very fond of. Next thing I know, a huge package arrives in the post with my name on it.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit it now, but it was not love at first sight.

First there was the problem of the cover. Maria chose the cover to go with the decor of our living room and dining room. As you can see from the picture above, it doesn’t exactly scream out “this is the bed of the manly beast of the house.” There were lots of other much more masculine or at least neutral designs she could have chosen. I didn’t get a say in the matter, mostly because I’m fairly colorblind, but also because I’d have probably chosen this one on the right with the cute outline of a dog’s head (I think it’s me, actually), and a color I believe is called blue-ish/green-ish.

Then there was the problem of the bed breathing. Because I’m a big fellow, we got the largest one. It dwarfs my now flattened green Costco bed with little pheasants on it. And it’s so rich with quality puffiness that when I lay down on it, it makes a sort of sighing sound. At first, I have to tell you, it scared the pants off me. For two weeks, I refused to go on it. Maria would get on it, curl up, and nearly go to sleep to show me how “incredibly comfy it is, Jake. You have GOT to try it. If it were a little bigger, it would be our family’s guest bed.” But I’ve never slept on a bed that exhaled before, and I figured it was one of those dog-eating beds I’d dreamt about. I would not step paw on it.

Then along came my petite little friend, Seeta. She is a cute and rather wee poodle, and I figured she’d be even more scared than I. I mean, if the bed would eat me as an entree, she’d be a quick appetizer. But the brave little thing sauntered over to the bed, walked up on it, and as it breathed out its breath, she circled a few times and curled up just like Maria had. I waited for the bed to do its thing, but it never did. Seeta had a little nap, and when it was time to leave, she didn’t want to go. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I hadn’t given the bed an adequate chance.

When she left, I put a paw on it. Then another. It started exhaling at me. But I persevered. If it didn’t eat Seeta, why would it want me? Another paw, another paw. Plop. I was down. And the bed was not attacking. It exhaled a little more, and as it did, I realized I was reposing on something far more comfortable than any love seat or dog bed I’d ever slept on. What had taken me so long? This was magic. Maria was right. The bed is ludicrously comfortable. I get up from sleeping for my 8-hour shifts and my almost-8-year-old bones aren’t achy in the least, as they often are with my other sleeping arrangements.

Since I’ve become a fan, several of my other dog friends have come for visits and taken over my bed. No one else seems to have the fear I did. I’m a little embarrassed about having been so scared, but I’m grateful that I overcame my fears before Maria gave the bed to another dog — which she was threatening to do.

Maria says there are lots of benefits to the Crypton Dog Bed besides royal comfort. She explains it this way:

“Only Crypton’s patented technology can create eco-friendly pet beds that are stain, moisture, odor and bacteria resistant. These dog beds are not only clean, strong and built to last they’re easy to spot clean and have a removable cover that makes machine washing quick and convenient. Plus, you can disinfect your pet bed when you use Crypton’s EPA-approved Disinfectant & Deodorizer.”

(Something tells me she is ripping off the Crypton Dog Bed website when she says this.) Since I like to get dirty in the Great Outdoors, these are very handy attributes. And they’re really true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone swimming in the local pond and run up to my fave bed and plopped down before Maria could find a towel. Next day, after a little brushing off, it’s as if it appeared brand-new from the shipping box. No matter how dirty and stainy I am, the Crypton bed repels the bad stuff.

At least it no longer repels me.

If you’re in the market for a wildly comfortable pet bed that will withstand the test of time, make the investment in a Crypton Dog Bed. (Retail: $109-$175; not cheap, but you won’t be replacing it every few months.) It’s truly the bed of a lifetime. And I can pretty much guarantee it won’t eat your dog.