Let’s Talk: Is Your Dog a Destructo-Dog or a Golden-Mouthed Angel?

Some dogs are angelic wonders when it comes to chewing items that aren't meant to be mauled. Give them a stuffed toy and after a...


Some dogs are angelic wonders when it comes to chewing items that aren’t meant to be mauled. Give them a stuffed toy and after a few obligatory nibbles, they cuddle up with it and go to sleep. And they’d never dream of maiming a seat cushion or pillow. About the only thing they chew is their food. These dogs never get yelled at for eating couches.

And then there are the dogs I am all too familiar with: I call them destructo-dogs. I live with one. I will shortly show you evidence of something Jake did a couple of days ago.

Apparently there are many dogs like Jake. Is yours one of the destructo-dogs, or is he on the side of the angels? I’d love to hear from readers from both fluffy walks of life.

If you dog is like Jake, you’ll be heartened to learn that there’s a fun website called Dogstruction: When Good Dogs Go Bad, whose sole purpose is to feature dogs in the act of destruction, or the aftermath of said destruction. There are some real doozies. Some might even make you feel pretty good about your resident furry piranha.

Check out this dog, for instance. At first he appears to be floating in for a visit from Dog Heaven.

But the reality is that this photo was titled Yummy Bed. Here’s what the dog’s person, Beth (the website’s clever founder, I think) wrote: “My dog is a chewer. As a result we usually don’t leave him alone with his bed. Unfortunately we forgot to move it and we came home to this! It looks like a foam party in Ibiza! UGH”

And how about this photo from Eric, who was dog sitting and made the fatal error of washing the cushion covers of his couch and going to work before putting them back. This is what greeted him upon his return. (Ouch …)

Of course, not all destruction involves foam and fluff. Take it from Schatzi, who had too much fun with a bag of flour. Here’s what his owner, Kelley F, wrote: “After very carefully (OCD carefully) removing any teaser of baked goods off the kitchen counter, Schatzi sought revenge with a sack of flour. She then had a long, slobbery drink of water, which she then dragged through the room. 3 of us picked paste balls out of the BRAND NEW BLACK RUG for hours that evening. oh, what fun.”

Wow, now that I’ve seen the work of some of Jake’s colleagues, he’s sprouting a halo. Oh, wait. I forgot. Just two days ago he found a gift I was saving for a dog friend who will be visiting next week. It was (note the past tense) a very cute little stuffed hedgehog. His owner loves hedgehogs.

Apparently, so does Jake.

Note the fast but small-arcing tail wag, which for Jake means, “Uh-oh, I think I’ve been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to. I wonder what I did this time?” He almost looks like he feels some guilt, although some animal scientists say that’s not possible.

If Jake had guilt, it didn’t last too long. His conscience seemed perfectly clear as he put his head down on his victim and took a nap.

Your turn, Dogsters! We’d love to read about what your dog has “dogstructed” during his career. Or tell us what a good boy your dog is with this stuff. If you have pics to show of the destructo-dog end of the scale, you can enter them at Dogstruction’s submit page and immortalize your dog. Leave a comment here if you do that, so we can head over for a peek!

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