My Boyfriend Talks Like a Hillbilly to His Dog

GiGi the Boston Terrier dispenses tough love advice to people (and pups) with relationship trouble. Caution: This is one sassy little bitch.


Dear GiGi,

My boyfriend talks to his dog all the time. And I don’t mean cutesy-wutesy baby talk like “Who’s the sweetest little fluffball in the world? You are. YOU ARE!” or “I wuv you, boo boo.” I mean that he puts on a weird hillbilly voice and says things like “Well, Cletus, it’s time to go huntin’ squirrels again, little man” or “Hit don’t mean nothin’. Now fetch me my moonshine!” It’s a bit ridiculous, seeing as he’s from Brooklyn.

I’m getting really sick of the stupid character acting. I’ve asked him to stop, but he pouts and says his last two girlfriends thought it was sweet, which makes me even madder. How do I get him to stop it — or do I have to bite my cotton-pickin’ lip and join in?

Doesn’t Want to Be Daisy Duke

Dear Daisy Don’t,

I really hope he has a Basset and not a Bichon, ’cause I can guarantee that Bichon is judging him harshly and daily.

Let’s assume he has a breed that understands his twang — then I don’t see the problem. My owner says the most ridiculous things to me in weird squealy voices only I and a few dolphins can hear, but I love it, ’cause it’s just for me!

This sounds like a double dose of jealousy. Not only are ex-girlfriends joining this hayride, but you seem to resent the language of love only your guy and his dog enjoy.

My advice: Kick him hard in the shin for each ex he brings up, but cut him some slack on the lingo and maybe even join in! A Southern drawl makes everything sound like it comes with a side of warm buttermilk biscuits. Who doesn’t love that?

Now get along, little doggy!


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