Today is National Bacon Day, a day dedicated to the cooking and eating of bacon, which is in sharp contrast to the other 364 days of the year, which are dedicated to the cooking and eating of bacon. We wondered how dogs are celebrating National Bacon Day, because of all the cooking and eating of bacon, so we found a dog and asked him.
Dogster: Happy National Bacon Day! How are you going to celebrate?
Dog: I imagine someone is going to make me some bacon.
Do you like bacon?
Yes. Are you the one making me bacon?
What do you think of the resurgence of bacon in the popular consciousness?
Well, it hasn’t made its way down to my bowl, that’s for sure. Don’t you need a pan and some bacon or something to make me bacon?
Have you tried any bacon treats?
Why, are you making them now?
Do you know they have bacon-wrapped turkeys? Isn’t that a hoot?!
I guess. Are you about to give me one?
And chocolate covered bacon, and bacon cake, and bacon soda. Even bacon pie! And who can forget the bacon-wrapped hot dog? A classic.
You got one of those?
Have you ever had a bacon cookie?
Am I about to?
I once ate a Corvette made out of bacon at an auto show in Cleveland. God, what a weekend.
Is there any left?
It’s amazing how much bacon has penetrated the food culture. It’s almost like you can’t eat anything without a little bacon in it.
Pal, are you messing with me?
Excuse me?
It’s almost like you can’t eat anything without a little bacon in it. I should knock you in the head.
I’m sorry?
Empty your pockets.
What?
Give me the bacon.
I don’t have any —
Happy National Bacon Day, friend! How do you like your bacon, old pal! GIVE ME THE BACON NOW.
I said I don’t have any —
NOW.
OK, fine. [Reaches into pocket and pulls out thick-cut applewood-smoked bacon.]
ALL OF IT.
Sheesh! [Lifts shirt and removes a hunk of slab bacon taped to stomach.]
That’s good; you did good. Is there any more?
Just some bacon bits in my shoe.
Now you get to see how a dog celebrates National Bacon Day. Put down a tarp and get me my bowl, pal.
That’s gross.
You’ve got a spot on the floor next to me.
Can I have first go at the slab bacon?
You bet.
I love National Bacon Day.
Don’t vomit on the tarp.
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