We’ve posted a few stories lately about people getting violent when owners don’t clean up their dogs’ poop. There was the California man who shot and killed his neighbor’s dog for using his lawn as a toilet one too many times. And the man who rubbed poop all over a woman’s head because she didn’t clean up after her dog.

I’m sure that the people behind PooTrap would love to claim that if the dogs’ owners been using PooTrap, none of this would have happened. This video above — a must-watch — is a real-deal commercial, brought to my attention by Dogster’s marvelous social media marketing associate/doo-doo specialist, Nam Nguyen. He saw it on bad late-night cable. I thought this had to be something from Saturday Night Live, or a YouTube joke, but when I phoned 888-POO-TRAP, a real man answered, and confirmed that this was a real product. He was very nice. Apparently he has fielded this kind of call before.

If my dog, Jake, were to wear one of these contraptions, I have no doubt he would spend his entire walk trying to get it off. If he ran across his dog friends, he would surely be humiliated. He would not be a good candidate for the commercial’s “and your pets will love it, too…makes your walking experience fun!” angle. It’s amazing that some dogs will tolerate this thing dangling from their hindquarters. (One yellow Lab in the commercial appears well equipped to pass his tolerant genes to the next generation…)

We love the PooTrap FAQs on the company’s site. We think maybe the PooTrap people should revisit this page with a good marketing person at their side, though. FAQs are meant to educate, and to promote a product, not to make people fall out of their chairs with laughter. Here are a few (all grammar and syntax taken directly from the site):

“Why it’s not as easy as your instruction video to put the PooTrap on my dog?” (Now there’s a big surprise! The commercial does promise “It’s easy to install on your dog.” I’ve never “installed” anything on my dog. I install things on my computer or on my walls, but not on my dog.) Partial answer, because the rest of the answer makes little sense: “…if they have any uncomfortable feelings, usually the uncomfortable feelings will be eased after 5 to 10 minutes.”

“I would rather like to pick up poop by myself?” (They provide no answer for this one. Huh.)

“Do you think PooTrap humiliates your dog when wearing the product?” Answer: “Babies wear diapers and they are truly loved by their parents, hence same applied to the dog owners who use our PooTrap do actually truly love their dogs.”

“Can the dog owner use the PooTrap on the dog at all times when walking them out?” (Oh, please say no! Please say take it off as soon as your dog poops! Please?) Answer: “It is not a problem to keep the PooTrap strapped onto your dog during the entire duration of your walk. It will not bother the dog. When a dog is having diarrhea, or if the owner just doesn’t feel like taking the PooTrap off the dog, feel free to keep the PooTrap on the dog.”

We like ingenuity, and the inspiration behind the contraption (never leave even a smear of poop on your lawn or in the park again) is commendable. But the implementation is enough to have your dog pinching himself and praying he’ll wake up soon…

What do you think? Would you buy one for your dog?