Stock photos power the Internet. But some of them are so very weird, you have to wonder, what was the photographer thinking? Well, maybe he or she was hoping for unique news headlines like these. (Our apologies to Shutterstock.)

Dogs Engineer Their First Car

“It’s a piece of crap,” says the Department of Transportation. “Don’t listen to any of these dogs.”

World’s Worst Cake Nearing Completion

“He put something in the oven,” says owner. “By God, he’s baking!”

Horse Refuses to Acknowledge Whatever Is in Saddle

“I don’t know what’s up there,” says War Bonnet. “But I ain’t moving.”

First Dog in Tour de France Doesn’t Even Make it Past Starting Line

“He got crushed by the Swedes,” says tour official. “His little legs just couldn’t pedal fast enough.”

Jug-Playing Dog Tours End-Care Facilities

Twice-weekly shows lull residents into acceptance, compliance

Meet the First Vet of Crazytown, USA

“I found a bucket of vaccine out by the river,” says Psycho Eyes. “That makes me the boss. What the hell, and the mayor.”

Sexy Vet Drama Series Anchors CBS Fall Lineup

She loves men, hates paperwork, and euthanizes every dog she sees. “Like Dexter but with dogs,” says exec. “Cute dogs that die.”

Axe-Wielding Manhound Escapes from Child’s Nightmare

“Carry squeaky toys,” warns sheriff. “And don’t leave home without Snausages.”

Fallout Over Controversial Dyson Ad Continues

“So, the dog’s drunk, too?” wonders Wall Street analyst. “I don’t understand pop culture anymore.”

On the Internet, Nobody Knows You’re a Drunk

Zzzzzzzzzzz.