We told you about Text From Dog a little while ago. If you missed it then, allow us to recap: There is a Tumblr out there documenting the text messages between a dog and his owner. Got a moment? You do? Then you should definitely check it out … and prepare to stifle your giggles. Any of these sound familiar?

Do you think this might be the reason your dog is so resistant to baths?

Or how your dog might feel about you — his butler — betraying his weakness to his archnemesis, the mailman?

Is this the confusion your dog deals with when he tries to think about whether he has knees or elbows?

Well guess what? Text From Dog just landed a book deal, so now you can have access to these amusing exchanges even when you don’t have access to the Internet. We know! It’s just the thing you were asking for, right? Slated for an October release, it’s guaranteed to be the perfect gift for your best dog-loving friends.

In the meantime, however, what would be some text exchanges between you and your dog?

Sadly, I don’t live with a dog … but the family dog still lives with my parents. He’s a giant black and white Akita named Tobu. If he had thumbs and an iPhone, his texts would probably look a lot like:

Tobu: When are you coming to visit? When are you coming to visit? WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO VISIT?

Yours truly: During the holidays.

Tobu: That’s like A MILLION YEARS from now in dog years — I’M A DOG I CAN’T FATHOM THE FUTURE!!!

Yours truly: Settle down. You need a walk.

Tobu: Did someone say WALK?!